Listening to all my single friends’ dating stories, there’s definitely a level or negativity towards prospective dates.
It seriously gets as simple as ‘this guy was out partying last night. We can’t be compatible because I’m more of a home bird’. Couldn’t the guy in fact have spent the evening secretly eating pizza at home alone sat in his underpants but simply wanted to impress you?
Does this negativity build up with every disappointing date attended? This will make it impossible to give people a chance. A certain degree of open mindedness.
Whilst reading tweets from single ladies, I couldn’t help but notice there’s a lot of man haters out there. Have we forgotten how to give people the benefit of the doubt after one too many bad dates? Tarnished with the same brush, the women seem to have united to form a defence system. They protect the tribe, and throw shade to all the men they date and it doesn’t go the way they long for it to. I’m certain it’s probably the same for the single males too.
It saddens me that such hatred can occur from a situation which mimics trying on various pairs of gloves to see which one fits. It’s nobody’s fault if a date doesn’t flow, it takes two to hold a conversation and the fact of the matter is, it’s just not the right fit! My pet hate is when less confident people project the blame on the other person saying they’re not fun. Everyone is fun in their own ways and fun is measured differently from each individual anyway. Who has the right to decide what’s fun and what isn’t? What saddens me more is knowing that this attitude towards dating is diminishing their chances of finding the one because they have already given up hope, have already decided what type of bad arse person this is before they go on the date. Besides, who’s going to find a man/woman-hater attractive anyway?
We all need to be more open to date on the mission to find love, and kinder towards those who we meet along the way. They’re the ones who give us the experiences that make us who we are today, after all.
Am I alone in thinking love interests are like buses… None show up and then they all come at once?
In the past I have experienced long dry spells of serial dating but nothing ever getting past the second or third date. But then over the last six months, things have been somewhat different. I have been in new territory, a period of permanently seeing someone one after the other whether that be for a month at a time or more. It appears that being found attractive by someone, attracts others, and this has lead to interesting (and interested) guys coming out of the woodwork.
Perhaps when you are coupled up (whether it is deemed to last or not) you radiate a happiness or a self-confidence in which the opposite sex detect and prey upon? Or maybe this is just another example of how giving up online dating has opened up new opportunities which had gone unnoticed before now? It will be interesting to see if the ‘My Light is on’ pin badges will help others to find love interests the organic way by erasing the issues of being dubious whether the hot girl or guy in the supermarket is single and is looking to date, as well as being a conversation starter!
I have been on many first dates, most involved finding a cosy corner in the city’s funkiest coffee house (a mutual choice, granted!). But I was suddenly caught off guard when I met a guy from overseas. We were flirting with banter of how he would wow me with an impressive first date. I was puzzled by answering questions such as ‘would I describe myself as someone who loves trying new experiences, someone who knows what they like and sticks to it or someone who is somewhere in between?’ Of course, this worried me slightly as I envisaged being propelled out of an aeroplane with my delicately curled hair flapping in the wind, and mascara running down my cheeks. But I reluctantly still went ahead anyway. And I couldn’t have been more wrong…
The evening was perfectly planned, tailored around my need to escape being a mom for an evening and instead, being treated like a princess. I was given the instructions to meet in a swanky bar for drinks. Okay, he did not quite manage to make reservations there but the alternative was the next best thing… an intimate hidden little gem serving rich, flavoursome food. After much debate, we ordered two starters to share (yes we had similar tastes in food), alongside a glass of red confidently recommended by my date. Like many men (I hate to stereotype), my date didn’t have a sweet tooth. However, just to ensure that I didn’t shy away from desert because of appearing too greedy, he insisted that we would share a desert of my choice. Perfect so far? Well it gets better. We then took a short stroll hand-in-hand through the city to a comedy club where we had pre-booked tickets. Upon entering we were offered an upgrade to front row seats. We were to wrapped up in the moment as we missed the warning sign that we now had front row seats to a comedy night! Being the only couple in the club to be interlocking hands across the table, of course we were instantly singled out! We must have been oozing the first date syndrome, and it didn’t take long for this to escalate to debating my date’s manhood. But for some bizarre reason it wasn’t awkward, we simply held a gaze and exchanged a smirk.
So that my friends, is how you plan a first date. Or perhaps I was biased by the fact that for the first time in a long time, I was on a date with a guy I wanted to spend more time with? It would have been a tricky date to escape if we didn’t click, most probably involving pulling a fast one e.g. jumping out of the ladies toilet window or asking a friend to call with the news that your great aunt is ill!